Posts Tagged ‘funny fantasy’

Q: What do you call a mug that’s big enough for a dragon to drink out of?

A: A dragon flagon.

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Last one — I promise.

Q: Why did the dragon fly over the mountain?

A: She wanted a peak experience.

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Q: Why did the dragon fly over the mountain?

A: Wanderlust.

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Q: Why did the dragon fly over the mountain?

A: To see what he could see.

Q: What did the dragon see?

A: The other side of the mountain. (Duh)

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Q: Why did the dragon fly over the mountain?

A: It would take too long to dig under the mountain.

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We all have an image of the classic dragon: big and red, armored, fire breathing, malevolent. But way back at the dawn of role-playing games, the creators of D&D must have felt that dragons posed a difficult challenge. How could gamemasters keep players interested in fighting yet another dragon?

Their solution was to create a veritable spectrum of dragons. Evil dragons were not just red, but also blue, green, black and white. In homage to the more benevolent Asian style of dragon, metallic dragons could be gold, bronze, brass, silver or copper. These were potentially wise guides for players. As years passed, there were jewel dragons and fairy dragons and creatures part dragon and part something else. Because the challenge remained the same — to keep these creatures interesting.

Of all the D&D dragons, the white dragons were most obviously the opposite of a stereotypical dragon. White dragons loved high, cold, icy mountains. They lived in caverns near glaciers and breathed deadly frost instead of fire. It was said they were not as intelligent as some other dragon breeds and relied on savagery instead of spellcasting.

Despite these slurs, ice dragons have become some of the most popular subjects for artists. Any Internet search will turn up dozens of likenesses of ice dragons. There’s just something about them. The ice is hard, yet beautiful. It shines against sunlight or moonlight. Ice dragons posess a mystery and grace that the traditional sort simply don’t have.

Here’s a link to a funny cartoon about white dragons in D&D.

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A Dragon’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Humans. What a mouthful that title is! The authors are Newberry Honor-winner Laurence Yep and his wife, Joanne Ryder, an award-winning poet. These two collaborate on a clever retort to the trope of humans having dragons as pets.

The viewpoint character is a dragon, Miss Drake, who is mourning the recent death of her human pet. Fluffy, a.k.a. Amelia, was the latest in a family line that Miss Drake has kept as pets for several generations. But Miss Drake has little time to grieve, for along comes Fluffy’s great-niece Winnie, a lively young girl who somehow seems to think Miss Drake is her pet.

A dragon as pet? Who could imagine such a ridiculous thing!

So begins a middle-grade fantasy with shades of Harry Potter, as Miss Drake introduces Winnie to a magical world hidden among the mundane. There are even illustrations by Mary Grandpre, who did the art for Harry Potter.

The tale is short, light and breezy, full of humor and gentle adventures. Kids in 3rd to 5th grades will enjoy this book. Older readers may find it a bit childish.

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The Dragons Are Singing Tonight is a picture book from the notable children’s poet, Jack Prelutsky, with illustration by Peter Sis. It was published in 1993 by Greenwillow and is part of a set by the same author featuring other fantastic creatures such as ogres.

Each of the 17 short poems stands alone, yet connected by the general theme of dragons. There’s a good balance between short and snarky poems with longer, meditative ones. Although the focus is mostly on children wishing they could have dragons for pets, something longtime readers will know irritates me, Prelutsky does find time for the dragon’s perspective. Here’s the third of the volume:

If You Don’t Believe In Dragons, by Jack Prelutsky

If you don’t believe in dragons

It is curiously true

That the dragons you disparage

Choose not to believe in you.

My personal favorite is “I Am My Master’s Dragon,” a poignant statement of the pet dragon’s longing to be free. No matter how kindly the master may be, servitude of dragons to humans is a great wrong.

As you can tell from the vocabulary and ironic concepts, this is a book for the older-aged picture book reader, perhaps 9-12. It also could be read by parents to younger kids sitting in a lap. For adults, this is a brief and fond look back to our own days when every new book was an adventure waiting to happen. Thanks much to Princess of Dragons for cluing me into this one.

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Reasons that dragons don’t like Christmas.:

#1 – They don’t believe any deity is more powerful than they are.

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I will be out Christmas shopping, like all patriotic Americans, but here’s a giggle for you.

Reasons that dragons don’t celebrate Christmas:
#3 – They don’t understand the part about giving things to others.

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