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Posts Tagged ‘funny dragons’

Thanksgiving Day is coming here in the USA. Here’s a repeat of a funny post from 2015. Seriously, I’m grateful for all of you who follow and support me. Happy Thanksgiving!


Hommana hommana, I peer into my crystal ball
And learn the most mysterious thing of all:
What are dragons grateful for?

Ikartya of the Emerald Scales — Gratitude, what’s that?

Ysislaw, Emperor of Sillets — My hoard.

Fruq the Furious — My flames, which destroy my enemies.

Tetheus of Shoredance Island — Delicious sheep.

Gnawrath, Most Malign — That my family is far, far away.

Cazarluun the Wraith — That I killed Sir Whatsizname before he killed me.

Carnisha of Mount Cragmaw — That humans are so easily deceived.

P.S. — Ysislaw, Cazarluun, Tetheus and Carnisha are all characters from my stories! Ysislaw is from my second novel, Too Many Princes. Carnisha is in my story that appeared in The Dragon’s Hoard anthology last spring. Tetheus and Cazarluun are in short stories that are thus far unpublished. However, their statements here don’t necessarily represent their roles in the stories.


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Here’s another fun picture book for your young dragon lover. Author/artist James Mayhew published through Chicken House in 2003.

It seems there  is a brave and handsome knight who hopes to catch the eye of a spirited princess. Surely the best way to impress her is to defeat a dragon in single combat. The only problem? There are no dragons left in the kingdom. He sets off to search.

This book has a slightly subversive tone, as you see the knight search right by some dragons hidden in the artwork. Then, when a dragon actually does show up to threaten the kingdom, the knight won’t face it without just the right armor and sword. 

Adult readers will probably guess the outcome from the title. Kids may or may not get the point about action being more important than appearance. I personally found the book clever, although the final page irritated me. The princess randomly marries someone other than the tardy knight; why? Her marriage is irrelevant to the point of the book and perpetuates a stereotype that girls can’t be happy when independent. But at least the dragon lives happily ever after!


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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IMG_20181029_103641042_HDRThis dragon was created as part of a first grade math assignment. The students were supposed to make something using standard shapes: triangle, rhombus, hexagon, etc. This particular student, L. G., made a dragon.

Don’t you love the detail he put in? Those scales, the pupil of the eye, the tongue and teeth, though they’re harder to see. He did an amazing job!


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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Here is a joke from the web site “From Russia With Love.” It features Zmey Gorynych with a different bogatyr, Ilya Murometz. The English is somewhat rough there, so I’ve cleaned it up a bit.


One time the famous Russian bogatyr, Ilya Murometz, was enjoying a day at home. A group of elders from the village nearby came to see him and said, “Ilya, help us! Zmey Gorynych is so angry that he burned 3 villages and ate all the hens. We are in trouble!”

But Ilya did not answer them. They went away discouraged.

A few days later, the village elders returned. “Please help us, Ilya! Zmey Gorynych has destroyed 10 villages, eaten all the cows, and kidnapped our wives. You must take action!”

Again there was no reply. They went away desolate.

After a few more days, the elders came calling again. “Ilya, it’s a nightmare! He’s destroyed 20 villages, eaten every domestic animal, and snatched the princesses. He’s very close to us now. Please, won’t you do something?”

At this, Ilya got up and got dressed. The elders were relieved and grateful. “Thank you for helping us at last!”

But Ilya said, “Oh, fellows. It’s time to escape now.”


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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I’m happy to share another dragon tale today. Dragonboy is a short film, recently featured by author J. Keller Ford on her blog, YA Chit Chat. It just might be the cutest thing you’ll see today. Check it out here!

This animated short was made by a group of film students. Like “The Optometrist and the Dragon,” a short story I shared last week, it takes a fresh and engaging look at that age-old triangle between dragon, princess, and knight.


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One of the hot food fads in 2017 was actually extremely cold. “Dragon’s Breath” is a dessert created by dipping cereal balls in liquid nitrogen. Yes, you heard that right.

The cereal balls are served in a cup. You pick them up with skewers, so you don’t get freezer-burn on your fingertips. Once the frozen treat encounters your warm mouth, it produces billowing vapors that are said to look like a dragon’s breath. I’m picturing something like dry ice in a punch bowl.

This specialty dessert was first created in South Korea and the Philippines during 2015. It  now appears in restaurants and at county fairs all the over the world. Shared videos of the spectacular “dragon’s breath” have no doubt contributed to its popularity.

Naturally, there are some safety concerns. Liquid nitrogen is a hazardous material and has to be handled carefully. There have been scattered reports of burns in the mouth or on the hands while eating dragon’s breath. In addition, having too much nitrogen introduced to a closed area could theoretically create a danger of asphyxiation.

It does sound… well, cool (ha ha)! But I’m not sure I’d be willing to try it.


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Rather than just asking what a group of dragons should be called, it might be better to ask if there would ever be a group of dragons. After all, you seldom find dragon groups in traditional stories and myths. Dragons such as Fafnir and Hydra are distinct individuals, so dreaded and powerful that nothing more is needed for them to be an effective monster. Not to mention that these dragons are fiercely jealous. How likely is it that they’d allow another dragon near their territory and/or hoard?

There are a few names, though, that might capture the danger of many dragons coming together. A “plague,” a “swarm,” even an “invasion.” Interesting that these come from insect groups — locusts, bees or ants, and roaches.

If the dragons in question are of the more intelligent and noble variety, perhaps they would be known as a “council.” Intelligent but evil dragons might form a “congress” or “parliament,” especially if they spend a lot of their time in ferocious arguments.

Well, what do you think? Is a group of dragons a “plague” or a “council?”


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What do you call a group of dragons? The question arises because I recently ran across one of those listings where they give the clever, and sometimes bizarre, names for groups of animals. (A “flange” of babboons?)

In names for dragon groups, the two leading contenders are both from modern literature. Christopher Paolini’s Inheritance series gives a “thunder” of dragons from the sound of their wings.

Anne McCaffrey’s Pern books present a more complicated name set. A “weyr” is a group of dragons living in a fixed location (also called a weyr) and mostly related to the queen dragon who lays all the eggs. McCaffrey’s dragonweyrs have a quasi-military structure, with fighting groups known as “wings.” Any other grouping of Pernese dragons is a “flight.”

Also to be noted is Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, where the swamp dragons have a distressing habit of exploding under the wrong conditions. A group of these dragons is an “embarrassment.”


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Today I’m sharing an article from Nature Magazine, published in 2015. The authors, Andrew J. Hamilton, Robert M. May and Edward K. Waters, purport to discuss the history of humans and dragons through European history.

Their theory: dragons are quite real, and were well known to people in the Dark Ages. However, climate change drove the creatures into a centuries-long hibernation. During this time, people became more concerned with scientific proofs than fictional tales. Unable to prove that dragons exist, most people came to believe either that dragons were extinct or that they had never existed at all.

However, the authors caution, the world is now warming again. Dramatic global temperature shifts are sure to bring dragons back from their hibernation!

You’ll note I said they purport to discuss these matters. The article is rife with references to J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, and especially to Newt Scamander, protagonist of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. A close look reveals that the text was published on April 1, 2015. Obviously it’s an April Fool’s Day article. The Potter references suggest that the magazine was playing up for the Fantastic Beasts movie, which if memory serves was released later in 2015.

Anyway, I hope you’ll read the article and enjoy the faux scientific gravity.


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Wine-holding dragon. Photo by Deby Fredericks, December 2017.

Here’s a friendly and helpful dragon, seen on a store shelf at Christmas time. It even guards your wine bottle for you!

 


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