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Archive for the ‘Dragon Jokes’ Category

Thanksgiving Day is coming here in the USA. Here’s a repeat of a funny post from 2015. Seriously, I’m grateful for all of you who follow and support me. Happy Thanksgiving!


Hommana hommana, I peer into my crystal ball
And learn the most mysterious thing of all:
What are dragons grateful for?

Ikartya of the Emerald Scales — Gratitude, what’s that?

Ysislaw, Emperor of Sillets — My hoard.

Fruq the Furious — My flames, which destroy my enemies.

Tetheus of Shoredance Island — Delicious sheep.

Gnawrath, Most Malign — That my family is far, far away.

Cazarluun the Wraith — That I killed Sir Whatsizname before he killed me.

Carnisha of Mount Cragmaw — That humans are so easily deceived.

P.S. — Ysislaw, Cazarluun, Tetheus and Carnisha are all characters from my stories! Ysislaw is from my second novel, Too Many Princes. Carnisha is in my story that appeared in The Dragon’s Hoard anthology last spring. Tetheus and Cazarluun are in short stories that are thus far unpublished. However, their statements here don’t necessarily represent their roles in the stories.


Have you read one of my books? Then it would be great for you to leave a review! Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn more about me and my work, check out my websiteFacebook, Instagram and/or Twitter.

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I was Christmas shopping and spotted this charming dragon hiding among a variety pack of hot sauces. The brand is called Dragon’s Breath. Mmmm, yummy!


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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Here’s a dragon joke, courtesy of my dad. It’s an oldie-but-goodie, as they say.

Q: Where does dragon milk come from?

A: From cows with very short legs!


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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As I was flying home from a Thanksgiving visit, I looked up at the ceiling of the airplane and was struck by the shapes I saw.

Doesn’t that straight line look like a backbone? And don’t those curves off the side look like ribs? 

I thought to myself, I am flying inside a dragon! Doesn’t it look like that?

No?

Guess it’s just me, then.


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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IMG_20181001_112457395_HDRHere’s another “dragon of Hallowe’en” photo for your collection. It was an animated dragon, with wing action and roaring sound effects.

This house is right by the school where I work. The home owners set up a “Harry Potter House” that was open on Hallowe’en. It was an elaborate production, with several tents and cardboard towers, but this photo shows the dragon best.

I didn’t actually get to go, since the school isn’t close to where I live, but it was fun to see this dragon presiding over a fantastic seasonal community.


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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IMG_20181029_103641042_HDRThis dragon was created as part of a first grade math assignment. The students were supposed to make something using standard shapes: triangle, rhombus, hexagon, etc. This particular student, L. G., made a dragon.

Don’t you love the detail he put in? Those scales, the pupil of the eye, the tongue and teeth, though they’re harder to see. He did an amazing job!


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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While I was taking a break from my book table at Lake City ComiCon, I spotted this great handbag at another vendor’s table.

IMG_20181020_155927679

Dragon Handbag from The Crafted Geek

The Crafted Geek is the manufacturer and source for this charming piece. Please take a look at their web site.


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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Computer security is ever more important as years go by and the Internet becomes an integral part of our lives. Experts are constantly trying to persuade people to protect ourselves from various forms of crime by using stronger passwords. As part of this effort, a security firm called SplashData has been releasing an annual list of the most common passwords. Last April, Wired.com published an article revealing that the word “dragon” has made the most-common-password list every year for at least two decades.

Of course, those of us reading this blog already know that dragons are amazing and memorable creatures. Still, it seems an odd choice for a password. Whimsical, even. In her article,Wired reporter Louise Matsakis delves into the reasons for choosing this particular word. She also makes sure to mention that the reason we know “dragon” is a popular password is that many accounts using it were hacked.

So if you’ve used “dragon” as your password anywhere, you might want to update that. The hackers are on to you!


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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Here is a joke from the web site “From Russia With Love.” It features Zmey Gorynych with a different bogatyr, Ilya Murometz. The English is somewhat rough there, so I’ve cleaned it up a bit.


One time the famous Russian bogatyr, Ilya Murometz, was enjoying a day at home. A group of elders from the village nearby came to see him and said, “Ilya, help us! Zmey Gorynych is so angry that he burned 3 villages and ate all the hens. We are in trouble!”

But Ilya did not answer them. They went away discouraged.

A few days later, the village elders returned. “Please help us, Ilya! Zmey Gorynych has destroyed 10 villages, eaten all the cows, and kidnapped our wives. You must take action!”

Again there was no reply. They went away desolate.

After a few more days, the elders came calling again. “Ilya, it’s a nightmare! He’s destroyed 20 villages, eaten every domestic animal, and snatched the princesses. He’s very close to us now. Please, won’t you do something?”

At this, Ilya got up and got dressed. The elders were relieved and grateful. “Thank you for helping us at last!”

But Ilya said, “Oh, fellows. It’s time to escape now.”


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

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Leather_Dragon

Leather Dragon created by Betsy Mott of Quicksilver Fantasies. Photo by Deby Fredericks.

Here is the latest addition to my personal dragon menagerie. My husband got it for me last month at SpoCon.

The dragon is hand sewn from leather by my good friend Betsy Mott. The dimensions are approximately 5″ from nose to tail and 8″ across the wings. You can sort of see the iridescent paint on the wings, as well.


Wyrmflight: A Hoard of Dragon Lore — $4.99 e-book or $17.99 trade paperback. Available at Amazon or Draft2Digital.

 

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